You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
