I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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