All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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