i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
