You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
