So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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