her vagine was all disorganized.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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