Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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