is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
