Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
