So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
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I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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