You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
