Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
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We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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