I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
