btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
