We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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