just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
