I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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