just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
