I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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