Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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