Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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