doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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