Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize