We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
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My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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