I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
