I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
