we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
