come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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