$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize