You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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