were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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