I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
