Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
