Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
