i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
