Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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