Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
im on a boat
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