it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
These tits shall not be calmed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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