I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
