There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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