You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
