Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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