i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
