2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
FUCK WHALES
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
