Say something about gay babies.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
