Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
