Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
