i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
