so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
