Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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