Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
how does that bad decision feel?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
