Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
