you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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