It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
