dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again