I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
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Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You slept on a pillow of digiorno