ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
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can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.