So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
