Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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