don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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