I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
