I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
