My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
