If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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