Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
