Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
